2017考研趣味閱讀：點(diǎn)餐抓瞎?中國(guó)人學(xué)英語(yǔ)爆笑囧事

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Hezi Jiang, a native of Beijing’s Chaoyang district and a China Daily USA reporter in New York, said: “There is a popular joke in China: A Chinese man flies to America. On the plane, the flight attendant approaches him and asks, ‘Coffee or tea, sir?’

《中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)》美國(guó)版駐紐約記者、北京朝陽(yáng)區(qū)居民姜禾子(音)說：“在中國(guó)有個(gè)廣為流傳的笑話：一個(gè)中國(guó)人坐飛機(jī)去美國(guó)，在飛機(jī)上空乘問他，‘需要咖啡還是茶，先生?’

“The man thought, I’ve had coffee and tea. 'I’ll have an 'or'. Thank you’, he said."

“這人想了想，自己已經(jīng)有茶也有咖啡了，‘我要還是，謝謝。’”

“To me, a lot of the embarrassing things happen with ordering food,” Hezi said. “For more than a year, I never ordered salmon no matter how much I wanted to have a grilled salmon, because the word is hard to pronounce. I used to pronounce the ‘l’ in salmon, and the waiter or waitress would correct me by asking, “sam-mon”?

姜禾子說：“對(duì)我來說，點(diǎn)餐時(shí)經(jīng)常遇到尷尬。我已經(jīng)有一年多沒點(diǎn)過三文魚吃了，盡管我非常想吃烤三文魚。因?yàn)楹茈y發(fā)對(duì)音。我以前總把單詞中的l字母音發(fā)出來，服務(wù)生就會(huì)糾正我，問道，‘三文魚’?”

“I found that really embarrassing, so I stopped ordering it. I had mahi mahi instead. I love the name, so easy. Also, I didn’t like it when restaurants offered special menus. The waiter would say a list of things that I had no idea of, and I would look into his or her eyes, nodding.

“我覺得很尷尬，所以我不再點(diǎn)三文魚吃了。我點(diǎn)鲯鰍魚，我喜歡這個(gè)名字，很好發(fā)音。我也不喜歡餐廳提供專門的菜單，服務(wù)生說的一長(zhǎng)串我都不懂，我只能看著他或她的眼睛，點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭。”

“But it feels great when I can understand an item or two he or she said. Most times, I would order that thing just to prove that I could understand.

“但如果服務(wù)生說的其中一兩樣我能聽懂，我就感覺很棒。大多數(shù)時(shí)候，我就點(diǎn)我能聽懂的來吃，就為了證明我能聽懂。”

“I also found that we say ‘yes’ a lot when we don’t understand. I remember once at a brunch, a waiter asked my friend “white or wheat”?

“我還發(fā)現(xiàn)，當(dāng)我們聽不懂時(shí)，說‘是’的時(shí)候太多了。我記得有次在早午餐會(huì)，有位服務(wù)生問我朋友，‘白面包還是全麥面包’?”

“He said ‘yes’.

“他說‘是’。”

“We laughed, and he blushed. Ordering food is hard.”

“我們都笑了，他臉?biāo)⒁幌戮图t了，點(diǎn)餐最難。”

“I remember when I was preparing for the IELTS (International English Language Testing System) three years ago,” recalled Long Yifan, an intern at China Daily USA in New York, from Shaoyang, Hunan province. “I tended to use the newly grasped academic words for oral English practice.

“記得三年前我備考雅思時(shí)，我總想在英語(yǔ)口語(yǔ)練習(xí)中使用最新掌握的學(xué)究詞，”《中國(guó)日?qǐng)?bào)》美國(guó)版駐紐約實(shí)習(xí)生龍一帆(音)說。

“I had some friends from Scotland, and one day when we ate out, I was in a hurry to find a restroom. I wanted to express my situation in an academic and formal way, so I said I wanted to ‘discharge’ myself. They were all surprised and amused.

“我有幾位來自蘇格蘭的朋友。一天我們約出去吃飯，我著急找?guī)�所。我想以正式的口吻用學(xué)究詞表達(dá)我的處境，所以我說我想去‘排放’我自己。他們很驚訝，也覺得很搞笑。”

“I felt something was wrong and wanted to make a clarification, so I said I wanted to urinate. They all burst into laughter.”

“我知道說錯(cuò)了，想澄清一下，所以我說我想去小便。他們笑成一片。”

“Just like how learning Chinese is hard for English speakers, the reverse is also true, for many of the same reasons,” writes Andy Luan on Quora, a question-and-answer website. “Pronunciation is probably the hardest part of learning English at first.

“就像說英語(yǔ)的人學(xué)中文很難一樣，中國(guó)人學(xué)英語(yǔ)也會(huì)因?yàn)楦鞣N同樣的原因遇到很多困難，” Andy Luan在問答網(wǎng)站Quora上寫道，“最初學(xué)英語(yǔ)時(shí)，最難的可能是發(fā)音。”

“Grammar is next. English grammar is ridiculous. There are a few so-called ‘rules’, but just about everything seems to be an exception to these rules.”

“其次是語(yǔ)法。英語(yǔ)語(yǔ)法很搞笑，有一些所謂的‘規(guī)則’，但幾乎都可以有例外。”

One of my observations is that Chinese speakers tend to have trouble with third-person pronouns (he and she aren’t interchangeable in English) and collective plurals.

我注意到，講中文的人經(jīng)常把英文中的第三人稱代詞和集體名詞單復(fù)數(shù)搞錯(cuò)(英文中的他和她不能互換)。

Many English words are the same in the singular as in the plural, so sometimes you will hear someone talk about the “researches” they did for a story, which is nonetheless endearing.

很多英文單詞的單復(fù)數(shù)形式?jīng)]差別，因此有時(shí)你會(huì)聽到有人說為一篇文章做了“很多調(diào)查研究”，但這么說也很討喜。

Vocabulary

brunch: 早午餐

white or wheat: white bread or wheat bread，白面包/全麥面包